Sunday, December 29, 2013

What a year.....

My last post was intended to bring people up to speed after my lack of writing. It wasn't detailed nor grammatically brilliant but I thought it was a reasonable summation of my life to then.
This post will be similar I guess, 2013 has been an incredible year for us, Wendy and I have settled into our new jobs and speaking from my point of view are enjoying them. Mine has been hard from the point of view that I am working more hours than I have for ages and some of my days have been longer than I have worked since I got into education. Because of this our work life balance isn't quite as good as it could be but I can not complain at all.
I had the news last week that the hospital don't want to see me for six months! That was a real shock, I'd been feeling under the weather and tired with my hours at work, I really need to remember what I have been through and that the treatment has aged my body quicker than my mind! Six months is something I never thought I'd hear. I thought I'd always be four monthly, six months may sound often to some but to someone who was used to going every other day its a massive luxury, not to mention a huge boost in confidence that the treatment has worked.
I asked the consultant about doing a new years day swim and other than suggesting my mental health should be checked he saw no reason for me not to take part. I took part five years ago and although there is nothing to connect a swim in the sea with a none hodgkins lymphoma it does stick in the mind. Whether I need to do it as yet another up yours cancer or what I have no idea but do it I shall, I do hope it's a little warmer than last time though.
Being utterly selfish I have had an utterly wonderful year. Being me I have had an utterly wonderful year tinged with incredible sadness. The anniversary of Gareth's death hit me hard again this year, I guess it always will. A good friend lost his wife to cancer a year after sitting on our sofa and talking about life late into the night. Then to cap it off one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure to meet has been told her cancer has come back. She is one of the nicest people in the world and her husband is a perfect match for her, mellow and loving. They met later on in life and have lived more in those years than some people live in a hundred. What cancer is and why it happens I have no idea, all I know is that it happens and it takes loved ones. Having been rather close to not telling this story I have come to the conclusion that everyday is a blessing and that everyday is to be lived. I am not saying live every day as your last but everyday has the opportunity to be a good day, to be remembered for the laughter or the smiles or the sunrise or sunset, the feeling of the wind in my thinning hair or the sting of the rain walking the dog, things I can feel when others can not.
I love my life, I will always miss those who I cannot share time with but I will remember them and the times I did share with them. I will cry for those who go before their time. I will feel the pain of their passing but I will remember how they were and the joy they brought me and I will try to share that with others.
I will live my life loving my family and friends and being me, the luckiest man alive today.

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