Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A weekend of excess!

I had a good week last week, not too tired but able to go shopping and have a bit more normality. I guess i'm still learning but learning slowly, when I feel good I MUST NOT DO TOO MUCH.

Oh well, having felt as good as i did for the week Friday came as a real anti climax. Flat as a fart. My get up and go had f****d off! Now normally it would just be one of those things but it was super Sue's leaving do from work and I desperately wanted to go. Sue is one of those people who will always try to help someone, she's also an incredible teacher and puts in so much effort to everything she does she's quite inspirational. Work, family, friends and she still has time for charity work as well. Sue helped me through some difficult times at work and has been a great friend and I'll miss her terribly when she leaves. So as you may get the impression it was important to me to go on Friday night.

Wendy understands me better than I do and sent me to bed at half five to see if it made me feel better. It wasn't just the tiredness that had got to me, it was a mental thing too. It'd be the first time I'd seen most of the people out since I lost my hair and I also didn't want people feeling awkward around me and not knowing what to say.

I needn't have worried, apart from the very mediocre food (antibos in sheffield) the night was great. It really gave me heart to see people and to be as welcome as ever. There was no reason not to welcome me but the face in the mirror is somewhat different to how it used to be. We laughed and drank and talked and were just a great group of friends wishing a friend good luck on her travels.

Saturday morning came and boy did I feel tired, really dog tired. Not hungover, I'd driven the night before, but really tired. We took Carys swimming as Georgie wasn't well enough to go climbing and just did normal family stuff. That's what we get right I think, being normal, keeping it normal is so important for the kids and to be honest except for the extreme hair cut and the tiredness I feel as normal as I ever do!

Dad texted asking if we wanted them to sit in that evening which was excellent as I had just picked up my phone to text him and ask if they would! So for the second night in a row I was out on the town, this time with my beautiful wife and no car. We headed into Sheffield for a bit of a mooch and a meal, I was slowing down after the first strawberry beer so we moved closer to our destination, my drinking tolerance isn't what it used to be!

By the time we reached East One I'd had one and a half pints and was pretty chilled out, Wendy says I get my mothers eyes when I've had enough to drink! A superb meal followed and I think the alcohol helped me use the chop sticks which I've had problems with before! We talked about life and about our girls, as we usually do, then I got kind of broody watching this little kid chew alternately on a prawn cracker and the table!

I had lost track of time, I've stopped wearing a watch on this journey as there are so many times that time would pass so slowly that measuring it would only add to the waiting. As we rode the tram home we talked and were us, just us, just Nick and Wendy. Not Nick, Wendy and the constant companion cancer. It was so nice. By the time we got home I was sure it must be nine oclock, ten to eight and just in time to watch the second half of total wipeout with the kids!

The really weird thing about being so tired is not being able to get to sleep, no matter what position I get into or how hot or cold it is, it takes me what feels like forever (probably 5 seconds) to get to sleep.

Sunday was a great day, really lazy super family morning but then we took the girls and their bikes to the park. Georgia has been riding for a while now but building her confidence and Carys has only ridden a little with stabilisers on. So today when George said she'd like to try riding on a little bmx track we loaded the car up and off we went.

George did everso well and rode round the track with a couple of off's but getting more and more confident every lap. Then Carys decided she'd like to try without stabilisers...........



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