Saturday, May 30, 2009

The longest week and this weeks trail

My trusty steed
The week following the biopsy was disappointing and stressful. It just so happened that there was a bank holiday the weekend following the biospy so the labs wouldn't be able to work their magic on the chunks of furball I'd donated.

It's truly amazing how time and stress go hand in hand, time slows down and stress levels rise. I was trying to keep a level head and a level voice when teaching and talking to colleagues at school. It was easier teaching, kids are a great leveller, be they your own or just ones you come into contact with. There were a couple of moments though were I nearly lost my composure, one of my form was suffering with a cold and being a bit melodramatic stated she was dying, me being me asked her to do it quietly. Another was a conversation with a very able young man, they are there and they do exist but they are few and far between. I had entered a small team into a competition for CAD (computer aided design) use. Unfortunately given the probability I'd be off for some time I decided to withdraw the entry. Telling him was really hard and the hardest thing was not telling him entirely why. I told him when I knew more then I'd tell him.

Friends are so important when living through a saga like this. Mark said he'd taken the day off and we could go for a ride to help my head. Riding has been a saviour of mine for some time, it's helped me get fitter, helped me meet some of the best friends a person could meet and it saved me from the depths of depression a couple of years ago. Part of the joy is the natural endorphins coursing through the veins, part is the physical satisfaction of reaching the top with the knowledge that you've earned your next down hill. But the best two bits are riding down a tricky, steep, technical section without crashing or making too many mistakes but then talking it through with your riding partner. We rode up from Marks and gained a lot of height quickly, not good for my breathing but hey we'd be at the top sooner. We started the cliff and there a naddgery little move over a stream which I had failed at several times and had a real ghost about. This time I rode it, first time, no dabs or wavers just rode it like I knew I could but hadn't done. Whether it was the new forks I'd been obsessing over for a year or two or whether my head needed small successes especially today I don't know. I was so happy to conquer a little obstacle that I was still smiling when I found I'd got a flat tyre!

We rode along the cliff and did some new trails mark had been on, finding new trails is just such a bonus it can't be described easily. Especially when they have such sweet sections like 'this weeks trail', they all have names and some are descriptive of the trail style others come from beer fueled sessions (Marylin Monroe, Missing Link, Mini Cliff, Tree stump, Branchline, Sniper, Rocky bob, Prince Phillip, Aussie rules). Doing a new trail and riding the majority of it is one of the best feelings in the world for me, not like sex in anyway shape or form but really good.

We called in to Marks for tea and medals and a just to chat. It had been the best tonic for what was to come. It had been a normal time, believe me, normal in this situation is to be cherished.

Going to the hospital to find out what the prognosis was going to be was a hell of a drive. It's only twenty minutes but boy did it feel longer. Waiting in the waiting room was weird, a lot of people there, were they there to get good news or bad. Who know's, what will my news be?

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